Let go of ..

I m in the same place that you are,
Love`s so pure while the feelings stay so unclear,
The strings seem like a burden now,
Can`t get over this feeling somehow,
Left the city where we met,
But the memories still hurt like a wound from a bayonet,
Paris to Monaco everything reminds of you,
It seems you still hold me, there`s nothing I can pursue,

The darkness seems to stretch throughout the day,
Everything seems hazy, it`s hard to find any specific way,
Nothing helps to get over you,
Its a phase I can never get through,
I promised never to leave you,
But I am the last person you should ever look up to,
I know it seems I betrayed,
it’s better to abandon then let you be in my unworthy crusade,

I know I was your true love,
But I wasn`t worthy of,
I will be an unwanted bad memory to you,
But someday in a bar, you will forget what we used to,
You will again be happy and I will become an old chapter,
You will be with someone, lot better,
Someone special, and worth your love,
Someday me bailing out would be easy for you to let go of,

Hindus, Muslims or Ignorants

“Religion is never the problem,

Its the people who use it to gain power.”

-Julian Casablancas

“I forgot to bring my tiffin that day. It was a very hot afternoon in the month of June. My dad could have brought the tiffin but he was out of station due to his job. My mom was a little sick that day. I was sitting alone in the class during the lunch break. A boy came to me and offered his tiffin to me. The hot stuffed paranthas from his open tiffin were looking so delicious. I ate from his tiffin without any hesitation. He even offered to share his water with me”

Many years ago Hindu`s ruled this land, then came the Muslim invaders. After few years came the Firangis (East India Company). But our country always had the dispute that Muslim invaders destroyed Hindu heritage, and Hindu activists try to repay it by building back old temples and try to suppress Muslims. There is another group of people calling themselves Moderns, Liberals, Leftists, etc. Liberals believe in democracy and freedom in the country. They want the freedom of speech, freedom to criticize anyone as well as freedom either to pay respect to their nation or not. All these sects are headed by some preachers. For Hindus, he may be politician, Priest, and even some roadside scoundrel with an orange flag. For Muslims, there are politicians, ex-cons, or even actors. But the liberal sect is headed by some liberal-minded actress/actor, modern influencer, etc.

  Hindus want to punish Muslims for killing and eating cows, but some major restaurant chains still sell pork which is prohibited in the Muslim religion. Indian movies and series always showed the Hindus as killers, suppressers while Muslims as either extreme religious or Terrorists. The preachers, politicians, and the big shot movies stars are selling this poison and we people are buying it. Based on religion, politicians from both sides are gaining vote banks. Preachers are gaining power and faith from people. Movie stars and directors are gaining TRP and Money. But where are the liberals? These people are against every major decision of the country, debating in major news channels. They are not in this feud and still gaining money and fame both.

So if all of these sects are wrong, who is correct? As I narrated an incident in the beginning. This incident happened to many of us when we were in schools or even in colleges. Childhood seems so easy. The names don`t bother us nor religion. Don`t ask me who was Hindu or Muslim in this story. These were just two Friends. But nowadays children step back a little when they meet someone from another religion. The problem is not in them, but in their parents who encourage this mindset. In Army and other Defence forces, soldiers greet each other by saying “Jai Hind”. They believe in one flag, one nation, one religion. The religion of humanity. A Muslim is guarding the border of Kashmir as well as a Hindu. If our protectors don`t fight against each other for religion, then why should we? Why can`t we greet each other by saying “Jai Hind” rather than Jai Shree Ram or Aslam Alaikum? It isn`t like Muslim invaders were only people who terrorized Hindu`s. Firangis also killed many freedom fighters from both religions. But we never disrespect a foreigner or Brit. So is it that our past grudges or the present manipulations dividing the country?

Politicians like Asaddudin Owaisi and Yogi Adityanath has made the occupation politician a cuss. The fight for power, the fight for religion is all just method to secure their vote banks. Why don`t we have young politicians and intellects? Parents are encouraging young generation kids to settle in other countries. So they could escape this religious war. Parents prefer NRI husband for their daughter. But if a guy abandoned his own mother nation, how can you be sure he won`t abandon your daughter?

  Our country is India not some Middle East war zone. We are fighting here for holy animals and the population. Hindus believe the cow is holy. But the fish that many Hindus consuming is Holy too. Matsya, (Sanskrit: “Fish”) was one of the 10 avatars (incarnations) of the Hindu god Vishnu. In this appearance, Vishnu saved the world from a great flood. Muslims believe they are the minority while they are 14.2% of the whole population. There are 172 million people as adherents of Islam in this country. Many religious groups are even smaller in numbers.

India has been home to countless religions for 70 years. Let’s not destroy it by some Politicians or Preachers. Let’s expand the brotherhood of our Army Personnel throughout the nation. Let’s forget the past and be patriotic rather than being blind religious. Let’s not question any religion but should question our ideology and idols.

A better parent

I never left your side,
I was your only child,
Still, you saw me worthless,
I loved you, and you pushed me furthest,
Tried to be a good son,
But to you, I was no one,
You broke me, you caged me,
I was helpless while I begged you to set me free,

Did everything you ever wanted,
In order to make you happy, I got exhausted,
I just asked for love, nothing else I ever wanted,
You beating me and bleeding me was all I granted,
I know, I wasn`t always right, I should be punished,
But I was a child, not a prisoner to be tarnished,
I always cared about you, despite your beatings,
I was just love and peace that I m still seeking,

You hated me, even when I thought I made you proud,
You treated me filth never even to mention my name loud,
I just wanted to make you proud and happy,
But you always thought of me as deceitful and crafty,
You didn`t look at me for years,
Even though I was there for you all these years,
You preferred to have someone else as your kid,
You treated me as if I was some sin,
But now I m free, cuz I don`t have to prove anything in front you,
I just want to be parent lot better than you,

Paranoia

This feeling is alienating me,
I m trapped in it, can`t set free,
I pushed my friends away,
Fear that someday they may betray,
I pushed my brother away,
Because he could have hurt me, I was afraid,
I pushed my family away,
Even though they cared for me every day,

My endless paranoia created a cold, dark room,
I stand there alone with my fears consume,
Trust seems a bright light, impossible to enter,
My pride seems to be this room`s epicenter,
Love seems a feeling too hard to handle,
My fragile mind is too hard to settle,
My actions make me demon in someone else`s life,
While my paranoia roots deep inside my mind,

Every other feeling becomes hazy,
Because I m little too scared lately,
I am a person impossible to love,
Just a person everyone wants to get rid off,
My actions changed everything around me,
A little bit of selfless love can cure me,
A non-judgemental love can now set me free,
From this darkness of endless paranoia that engulfs me,

King

I killed mercilessly till I became a king,
I have everything still feels I have nothing,
Darkness breeds under my throne,
Hurt the people I love without any mourn,
Sitting alone on my throne wearing my crown,
Everyones left no ones in town,
People running away in dreaded fear,
My dreams fulfilled still my thoughts unclear,

Where`s the family I loved?
Where is my love for which I cared?
There blood on my hands,
Killed everyone from the captured lands,
Where is my brother?
Yes, he was a brother from another mother,
But still looked after me like my own big brother,
My sins can never bring us together,

The throne quenched in blood,
My ambitions dragged me through mud,
Left my girl promising a last dance,
But my deeds will disgust her from my single glance,
She still waiting other side of the hall,
Devil inside me stopping, it feels I’m gonna lose her after all,
Kingdom with darkness and devil residing in its throne,
I wasnt fulfilling my dream, I was filling devils wish all along,

Peace

I feel like an abomination,
In front of this god`s beautiful creation,
The last rays of sun heals my soul,
My emotions are out of control,
Cool breeze kisses my cheeks,
Fishes swim touching my feet,
The water ultimately brings satisfaction to my ears,
All my pain, simply just disappears,

The dim sky gives a rest to my eyes,
I visit a small village, its paradise in disguise,
Women carrying tea leaves,
Pastor praying in the valley`s church I forget all my grieves,
The men carrying firewood to the homes,
A beautiful peacock fearlessly roams,
The birds returning to their nests,
In a stable my tired horse rests,

Children playing all around,
I feel this is a holy ground,
The meadows on the hill slope,
My eyes searching more still with hope,
Sky gets dark the weather gets cold,
All my emotions I cant withhold, Drops of the holy water rinses my sins,
It feels like I m a maverick with wide wings,

Last words…

The life waged a war on me,
I lost it but now I m free,
The wounds are still bleeding,
I still have attached strings still have the feelings,
This is my judgement day,
I deserve hell anyway,
Just too young to give up,
But now too weak to stand up,

Sorry mom, I couldnt be the son you want,

Tell dad I will miss him and not to mourn,

I know I was a disappointment,

But I couldnt take it I was an embarrassment,
My brain was screaming in pain,
Still had to smile to hide the blood stain,
I m bleeding out but I m happy,
Cuz your life`s are freed from me,

Life is fading away as every happy moment comes in my memory,
I know I am easy to hate, I’m a common enemy,
Forgive me, for all the pains I have caused,
Forgive me, for all the problems I have caused,
The floor is all red with the dripping blood,
Blade near my feet drowned in blood,
I just wanna say good bye to the love of my life,
The girl who is now someone else`s wife,

Cant keep my eyes open, As I feel my veins all dry and my wrists still swollen, I know god wont forgive me for my sins,
Never really believed in him,
I feel all my loved ones fading away,
No one to say goodbye, I isolated myself anyway,
As I close the eyes I can see the light,
I m happy it’s so peaceful and quite,

Don’t leave me

Please don`t leave me,
I m chained down help me get free,
Everyday my guilt makes me suffer,
Without you staying alive is so tougher,
I will change myself for you,
Please come back I still want you,
I have got no one other than you,
This breakup is so tough to get through,

We are better than this,
We are more than this,
I still look towards the sky at night,
Hoping you would call just to fight,
I wanna feel your heartbeat,
I m lost to you I accept my defeat,
You were a believer,
Love taught me a sinner can too be a griever,

I m still standing on the road you left me,
Still surviving reading your texts and sipping the whiskey,
I could never imagine a life without you,
Now I get it because there is no me without you,
I swear to love I will never lie,
Help me I m no more the tough guy,
I tried to let you go,
But I don`t know what went wrong?

I know I m the bag guy,
Can you feel my eyes still hurt from the last night cry?
I will never let go of your hand,
I will be armour to every grenade,
Cant feel anything, it’s like theres a hole in my heart,
I dont know how will I survive this staying apart? I know you dont wanna come,
Just put a stake through my heart I can`t over come,

No one is spared

Ground still shaking,
The blood still shedding,
Orphans searching for their mothers,
Soldiers left but civilians left to suffer,
Dust still not settled,
Children bleeding from grenade sharpnels,
All homes destroyed,
All families destroyed,

Humanity to it’s brink,
Diplomats still raging the war they don’t have to think,
People dying till the time ends,
Soldiers killing people it seems the tyranny never ends,
Girls getting rapped in front of church debris,
The undeserving apocalypse of the family trees,
Mercy very hard to find,
Death seems to be very kind,

No food, no water, just the bullet shells,
All sounds fade even the seasonal Christmas bells,
For hope people pray to the gods in the sky,
But the fighters still dropping bombs from the sky,
No trace of divinity,
Gods still punishing as the people die miserably,
Soldiers leave behind the bleeding orphans,
Even the war gift’s soldiers with so many coffins
©lucidious_lucifer

Darkness inside me

There comes a time when you suffer,
A time when the life becomes tougher,
No money, no power can cure it,
It eats you slowly bit by bit,
The smile on your face becomes a mask,
Everyone fades away, all around seems dark and black,
The day filled with darkness same as midnight,
Still hoping someone will come to save you bearing a light,

You walk among living as a soulless corpse,
Living alive is something that is forced,
Feels as vultures eating your flesh,
You wanna free yourself breaking that leash,
The leash that ties your neck,
But theres no way it will break, The gates to afterlife calls you, But few strings attached to you doesnt let you go through,

The happiness becomes extinct,
You are ready to end the suffering you are convinced,
Nothings provides peace,
The soul cries to release,
But you have to keep moving,
Keep struggling, keep living,
Cuz the light bearer is near,
Though it is late but you can feel it’s near,